Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

I have written letters to each of my babies from the moments I knew I was expecting them. Some of my babies got lots of letters, some got only one. You will get lots I'm sure, because I know we will be expecting you for awhile!

I have a feeling that you have begun growing somewhere, in somebody's tummy. You are not growing in my tummy little one, but you are growing in my heart. We are working and praying so hard to bring you home. I want you to know that you are worth every bit of it.

Sometimes I feel a little bit jealous of mommies who can bring babies into their families so easily. I used to be one of them! I feel a tinge of hurt whenever I hear of anyone who will be bringing home a new baby. I think, "Why is it so easy for them?" I wonder why some people barely have to blink their eyes to add to their family, and here we are fighting tooth and nail to bring you home. We fill out mountains of paperwork, answer extremely personal questions, take classes for weeks, have someone study our family and our home, work for months to raise enough money to pay for the cost of all of these things, and wait much longer than most have to wait to bring a baby home. Sometimes I feel that it just isn't fair. But then I think...how much sweeter will that moment be when I finally hold you and kiss your cheeks?

It will be the moment where all of this, all of the waiting and work and uncertainty, all of it will fade away into the background and all I will see is your face. I will think of how I would have waited and worked ten times what I did to have that moment with you. The moment I become your mommy. You are so worth every bit of it.

I hope you never wonder if you are loved the same as your big brother and sister since you didn't come from my tummy. Sweet baby, let me tell you something. I love you even now, and I don't even know who you are or where you are or when I will see you with my own eyes! Let me tell you that we love J* and E* so much that we are willing to go through all of this just to give that kind of love to another baby...YOU!!! Let me tell you that your daddy and I have never had to put so much work into adding to our family! You are the one we are doing this for! You are the one that is so loved already that we are willing to do anything to bring you home! You are the one we are waiting for. You are the one we are working for. You are the one we are praying for. You are my love!

We have so much peace that God has already hand picked you for our family. We pray for you every day. We pray that you are growing strong and healthy, that you are covered in love, that you are safe. We pray for the woman who is carrying you. We pray she is safe, she is loved, and that she has the comfort and peace of our Lord. We pray that she has someone in her life that is supporting her and encouraging her and taking care of her. We pray that God will give her courage and strength.

There are so many people who are praying for you. So many people who are supporting us and waiting anxiously with us. You are going to be smothered in love when you get home, baby. You won't even know what to do with it!

I love you. I'm waiting for you. I'm praying for you. I can't wait to meet you.

Love,

Mommy