Happy Birthday Jones (1st Birthday Letter)

Dear Jones,

I can't believe I am already writing your first birthday letter. How is my baby boy one already? It seems like you've done all your changing in just the last month! You started crawling, stopped nursing (which just broke my heart to pieces!), weaned from bottle to cup, started signing so much more, and go to bed all by yourself now (with just a little snuggling, but no bottle or nursing!). You have FINALLY started sleeping through the night, though we are still going in there a few times to help you when you lose your binky or have a bad dream!

You are becoming your own little person and we have really begun to see your personality develop and shine! I will be honest with you my little love, you have NOT been an easy baby. You are fussy, temperamental, and up until about a month or two ago, you were an absolutely horrible sleeper. We fondly nicknamed you the Robot Baby because you seemed to live on practically no sleep! It was exhausting, and I spent many nights weeping alongside you out of sheer exhaustion and frustration. But. Despite all of that, or maybe because of it, you make up for your faults with the sweetest, most adorable, squishy faced little personality. Everyone who meets you falls in love with you, and no one believes us about how truly awful you can sometimes be. ;)

At this particular moment in time, you are obsessed with puppies (so much so that we had that as your birthday party theme!), you LOVE to be outside, your favorite thing to do is throw and catch a ball, and if nothing else can make you happy, a walk in your stroller calms you instantly. Since you started crawling a few days ago, you now love to explore your boundaries and see what you can reach! I have pulled you out from under the table, stopped you from digging in the dog food dish, and rescued you when you got stuck trying to climb the entertainment center, and that was just today!

My precious Jones. I am so blessed to get to snuggle you before each nap and before I lay you down for the night. Whenever I do, I stroke your hair and play with the curls on the back of you neck, and I thank God that He gave you to me, even if that is the last time I ever get to hold you. It may sound somewhat morbid to think that way, but I am someone who has loved and lost so many of my babies, that I can't help but wonder if each time I hold you, it might be the last time. I'm honestly so blessed to think that way, because it makes me treasure those quiet moments with you so much more.

You are so loved Jonesy! Jake and Eisley dote on you, your daddy and I can't get enough of you, and you have grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles that love you to pieces. Most importantly though, my littlest love, you are adored by your Father in heaven. He created you and treasures you and wants the very best for your life. I hope that one day you will choose to love Him and serve Him in your life, and we will do our best to teach you all about Him until you can make that decision for yourself. If I could wish one thing for you, it is that you will know the limitless love of your God. Wishing this for you means that your life will not be perfect, it will have deep sorrows and cutting wounds. And while every mother wishes she could protect her child from pain, I have experienced incredible pains in my life, and each one has brought me closer to the Lord and allowed me to see a side of Him that I wouldn't have if I had been spared those heartaches. I hope that just once you are able to know that incredible comfort and peace the Lord offers, even if it will break my mommy heart to watch you hurt.

I love you little one, and I cannot wait to see who you become and how you bless the world around you. I am so proud of you already, and all you can do is crawl and sign "puppy"! ;) You are so precious, and I am so incredibly blessed to call you mine.

Love,

Mommy