Friday, October 12, 2012

Dear Eisley (Happy Birthday Letter)

The following is my Birthday Letter to Eisley Joy...she will be 7 years old on Sunday! I wrote one for  Jake too, but since she is 40 minutes older (40 loooooong minutes), I thought I'd post hers first. :)

Dear Eisley,

I can't believe you are about to turn 7 years old! At the same time, I find myself thinking that you are finally growing into your personality! You've had the maturity of an adult and the attitude of a teenager since before you could talk, and there are very few people on this earth that I'd rather sit and have a conversation with than you my dear. When you were born your daddy would sit with you in his lap and just stare into your wide eyes. He'd say, "Look at her eyes, she's just taking it all in." You would just look at things and we could tell you were thinking deeply about something! We used to laugh at the big words you would use as a toddler like "concentrating" and "frustrated". You seem to finally be growing into those big words and grown up phrases!

I tell people that you practically raise yourself, and handle the majority of raising Jake too! You are his second mother, and though we get on you about being bossy, he has never seemed to mind one bit. Your teacher told me she catches you putting Jake back in line when he makes it crooked, always making sure he is behaving! I have caught you a dozen times asking to smell Jake's hands when he comes out of the bathroom to make sure he used soap. I always anticipate Jake getting mad and calling you bossy, but he always either runs back to wash them correctly or holds them up proudly for you to smell. You will be such a wonderful mommy someday with all the practice you are getting now!

Years ago you asked me when we would have a little baby of our own. Years ago your daddy and I started to try and give one to you. You have never wanted for anything, between your aunts and uncles and grandparents who love to spoil you rotten, but this is one thing we haven't been able to give you. Each time we find out a baby is coming, you light up and count down the days. You talk about what you will do together, how you will dress it, what songs you will sing it. Too many times I have had to tell you we won't be bringing a baby home after all. Too many times I have watched you cry and mark a sad face on your calendar. It breaks my heart, and I worry so much that I have caused you to lose a bit of your faith. I wonder if we should have just said no in the beginning and saved all of us a world of hurt. But...then I think about the gift you and Jake are to me, the unimaginable blessings you have been in our lives, and I know that someday when we hold that baby, when I finally put that baby in your anxious waiting arms, we won't even think twice about if it was worth it.

These are some of your favorite things...Taylor Swift...arts and crafts...the color pink...accessorizing with hair pretties and babies and dollhouse...dressing up...reading...telling Jake what to do, when, how, and where...singing (and writing your own songs) into your pink microphone with your pink guitar...playing restaurant...learning to text on mommy's phone...playing games "just the four of us"...Hello Kitty...Victorious...Disneyland...and, of course, Jesus. ;)

This is the first year that you and Jakey have opted for separate birthday parties and separate Halloween costumes. It is a little bittersweet for mommy to watch you both wanting to claim your independence in these little things, but I am also so proud of both of you! So far on Halloween you have gone as a cheerleader (to Jake's basketball player, both costumes I purchased at Build-A-Bear, that's how small you were!), a princess (to Jake's prince), Pebbles Flinstone (to Jake's Bam Bam), Dorothy, or as you called it "Dork-thee" (to Jake's cowardly lion), Tinkerbell (to Jake's Peter Pan), and Princess Leia (to Jake's Luke Skywalker). This year you have begged Jake to be Harry Potter to your Hermione (making mommy so proud!) but Jake has swiftly and vehemently refused. I caught your bottom lip trembling over this the other day, and I thought to myself that it must be hard for you too sometimes to see Jake doing his own thing!

These are my absolute favorite moments with you...when you crawl into bed with me before the sun has come up and your frizzzy hair tickles my nose...when I pick you up from school and you babble on in the backseat about everything and nothing...when I tuck you in and you sing me my lullaby, and sometimes a lullaby to the baby in my tummy...when you offer to "make the boys dinner" when I'm not feeling well or have to work late, and I watch you take over as the mommy and do your best to take care of our boys...when you get incredibly excited over something like your birthday party or my baby shower or a voice activated diary you saw in the toy aisle and you absolutely moon over it like the entire world has been halted so you could gush over this one thing...when we go grocery shopping together and you and I have long, uninterrupted conversations and you tell me what you think about things like how old you should be when you wear make-up or date boys or get married...when you have been offended or hurt in some way and you have an absolute drama queen moment and carry on as if the world has come crashing down (I'm sorry baby, I just can't help but smile)...when you pray and you say, "Dear Heavenly Father, I bless that we have a good day tomorrow, and I bless that the baby will be doing good, and I bless that mommy will be feeling better, and I bless that..."...when you put on something pretty like your flower girl dress or your ballet costume and absolutely glow with how pretty you feel...when you take it as your personal duty to make your mommy feel good and find 101 different ways to compliment me...

You have big, big things ahead of you baby doll. I don't neccesarily mean you will become the President or a millionare or the next Taylor Swift (thought that is what your plan is currently), but I know you will do small things with great love, and those will be big things. When you rock your babies to sleep and sing them a lullaby, when you love your friends fiercly and selflessly, when you love your God and continue seeking how you can be a part of His will...I know you will do great things.

I literally could not be one ounce more proud of you than I am today. I hit the absolute child jackpot when I was given you and Jake, and I never forget this fact. You and your brother have made my heart a million times bigger than it was before I knew you. For seven years I have gained so much more than I've ever given with you two. You bring our family so much joy! We tell you that your name comes from your big, bright, intelligent eyes...but you once had someone tell you that Mos Eisley was the name of a space port on Star Wars and that's where we must have gotten your name. It upset you to your core. Here is the truth...I wanted your middle name to be Joy, like mine, because I think Joy is the best gift you can give anyone, including yourself. Your daddy happened to like a band named Eisley at the time I was pregnant with you and is the pickiest, most judgemental name giver on the planet, so when he liked a name I jumped at it...thus your name was born. But everyone who knows you thinks your name fits you to a T, and I agree.

We love you so much little girl! Happy 7th birthday! I am so blessed that the Lord has lent you to me for these past 7 years, and I hope he allows me to have you in my life for all the rest of it. I can't wait to see who you become, but I hope every single day I get with you absolutely crawls by. I love you to Heaven and back and six more round trips.



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