Thursday, December 22, 2011

Moving right along...

I wanted to give everyone an update on where we are in the adoption process right now! I realize that the past couple of blog entries have centered around our loss and grief experiences, but that is where we're at. Remember that just because we are thrilled to be expecting through adoption, it does not erase our loss or the experiences that brought us here. Lily is a part of who I am, a part of who our family is, and she always will be. I continue to grieve her loss while at the same time rejoicing over waiting for a new child! This journey is like a blanket woven with threads of joy and grief, of happiness and sorrow, of anticipation and longing, of tears and laughter. All of it together makes us who we are as a family!

Josh and I are having a particularly rough time right now. We simply miss our daughter very very much. We recently picked out her grave marker and that experience brought to the forefront emotions that are always there somewhere. I have found myself thinking of Lily and watching her last happy ultrasound video and looking at pictures of her little hands and feet. Josh is feeling it too, and we aren't sure if it is Christmas time that makes her absence more noticeable, or simply time moving forward and us leaving her behind that is making us sad. But we miss her, and I appreciate your understanding as this Adoption Faith Walk includes both exciting posts and tearful ones.

Last week, Josh and I met with our caseworker for our first interview in the homestudy process. The homestudy usually consists of about four interviews, at least one of which being in our actual home. This first meeting was in her office. It was our "genogram" appointment. We were asked to each draw a picture of our family tree including us, our siblings, our parents, our aunts and uncles, and our grandparents. It was actually kind of fun! She then spoke to us one at a time asking us all kinds of questions about each family member, our relationship with them, specific memories we have, and what influence they've had in our lives. Listening to Josh, I even learned a couple of new things I hadn't heard before, so that was pretty cool!

It was pretty simple and straightforward, and at the end of the appointment we set dates for the rest of our homestudy interviews. Our last one will be in February, right around the time our adoption classes end! Those begin the second week in January, so things are really starting to move quickly!

Once our homestudy is complete it will be sent off to the courts for approval, and then all we have to do is wait! We will at some point be putting together what is called a "Match Letter", which is really more of an online profile including pictures of our family, a letter to the birth mother, and a few paragraphs telling her who we are as individuals and as a family. Once that is submitted, we are literally just waiting for a phone call telling us we've been chosen and there is a little one(s) waiting for us!!!

Our wait could be anywhere from one day to one year or much longer, it just completely depends on what a birth mother is looking for. We completely trust the Lord to give us the child He has chosen for our family, and we have gotten very good at waiting. :)

So for now, we continue fundraising, praying, interviewing, and living life! If you are praying for us, please especially be in prayer for our hearts during Christmas as we miss the babies that aren't here. I think we feel Lily's absence so heavily because we got to hold her and meet her and love on her and give her back to the Lord. I wouldn't trade any of my time with her, but it makes me miss her even more having met her.

We would also really appreciate prayer for this adoption process to continue going as smoothly as it has so far. Josh and I recently talked about how easily it has gone for us, and how we are so not used to things going so smoothly! We are completely expectant of at least a few bumps in the road, but for now we are enjoying the peace. Please pray for our birth mama and the baby she is carrying. We are praying she is safe and surrounded by people that love and support her, but know it is very possible that she is not. We pray God will comfort her mommy heart and give her courage to face each day. We pray for our baby or babies, that God will bless them with good health and protection.

Thank you so much for following us on this walk, we have been hugely blessed so far, and we can't wait to see what God has in store for us!!!

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