Monday, March 26, 2012
I hate wating. Like, I hate it. I know most people don't enjoy it, but I think I have a waiting disorder. I do not like waiting in line, I find it nearly impossible to wait to open gifts until Christmas morning, I get positively jittery in traffic, and waiting rooms? Forget it. I mean, an entire room devoted to waiting? Are you kidding me???
And here we are, waiting for a phone call that could come at any time with the most exciting news we've ever gotten! (Maybe coming a close second to finding out our one baby was actually two babies...that was pretty exciting!) I think the reason this particular wait and others like it are so difficult is because I have no idea how long I will be waiting. I can handle the wait if I at least have the ability to cross off days on my calendar and fill the set amount of time with activities meanwhile counting down to the event. If there is anything worse than waiting, it is waiting indefinitely. There is no end in sight, there is no hint as to when your wait will end, and P.S., the thing you are waiting for could come in multiple forms, so not only are we waiting, we aren't entirely sure what we are waiting for. Is our baby a boy? A girl? Is our baby healthy? What will he or she look like? What will the birth family situation be? Will we get a call that the baby is ready to go home, or that a birth mother wants to meet with us? SO many unknowns. So hard to wait.
Josh is having an easier go of things. He is probably the most laid back person I know, and that kind of personality is naturally good at waiting. He does not stress, he does not worry, he just waits. "There's nothing we can do but wait." is what he says to me, which to him is comforting, but to me, that sounds more like, "You are powerless and have zero control over your circumstances." which is actually not comforting to personalities like mine, but thanks anyways hon. ;)
But he is completely right, and there really is nothing we can do! Well, there are a few things I guess! We can and have been praying like crazy. We are praying that even though we have it in our head when the "perfect" time would be to get that call, that God would orchestrate things in His perfect timing. That we will look back and say, "Wow, God, you really knew what you were doing!" We're praying for our birth mom, we're praying for our baby, and we're praying for our finances.
I've also been reading a lot (what's new?) about adoption issues and trying to prepare myself at least a little bit! And last but not least we are working on what we are hoping will be the last fundraiser for this adoption! We have about $2800 left to raise before we reach our goal, and we're so thankful for how far we've come in such a short time! But the reality is we could get a call any time and that money will need to be there when we do, so we're going to get the ball rolling on our last fundraiser very soon!
We enjoyed a nice long two weeks of Spring break and I really enjoyed having Josh home every day! Made me really look forward to summer vacation! We're back into the swing of things now and hopefully I will find some more time to blog. :) I realized it has been a couple of weeks since my last entry and I just wanted to pop in and say we are still waiting! I try to remind myself that this waiting could go on for months, more than a year, a long time. But every time the phone rings or I find I have a new voice message, my heart stops and I think, "I cannot take a whole year of this God!"
But I have definitely been through worse, and I am sure with practice I will get better at this waiting thing. Either that or I will be entirely gray by the time this baby arrives. ;)
Thanks so much for continuing to support us, and praying for us while we continue to wait!!!