"So, anything new with the adoption process?"
I hear that question at least four times a day, truly. I have such wonderful and amazing friends that are so excited and interested in our adoption, and I am so thankful for that! I love that people care. I love when people show an interest and ask about the adoption. What I feel bad about is never, ever having news! I wish I did, and cannot wait until the day when I can answer, "YES!!!"
But for now, the answer is plainly, no. We continue to wait. And wait. And wait. Indefinitely. Sometimes I don't think about it at all. Sometimes it is all I think about. Sometimes it makes me really sad and discouraged, that there is a possibility we could be waiting for a very, very long time.
It is what it is. That's what I try and tell myself. Of course I trust the Lord and His timing. I just wish that His timing would include us bringing a baby home like, tomorrow. :) But for now, it doesn't look like that's going to happen anytime soon, so we wait.
A verse I am finding encouraging because it so perfectly describes our situation is 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
That could have been (and maybe was!) written for me. I struggle constantly with not "losing heart". At times I truly feel I am wasting away just waiting like this, but God is so good to renew me each day. Every day I think, "I can't wait one more day...I've had it!" Yet somehow each day comes and goes and I haven't actually lost my mind waiting like I felt I was going to. ;)
Eisley told me in the car the other day (talking about waiting to be a big sister), "If I have to wait one more day I'm gonna LOSE MY BRAIN!!!" Sing it sister. I get it. So we pray for patience, and God gives us just enough to get through the next day. I just love the way this verse reminds us that these are truly "light and momentary troubles" and that there is a reason for them! I have had some not so light and not so momentary troubles in my life, and looking at this from that perspective helps me remember that this waiting thing really isn't all that bad. It also helps to know that God is working in this situation to achieve an eternal glory that FAR OUTWEIGHS the hard parts of this!!! Wonderful promises. And a great reminder to fix our eyes on Him.
There is one new thing to report I suppose...We have prayerfully and carefully decided on our VERY LAST fundraiser! I have to tell you, the only thing harder than the waiting in the adoption process is the fundraising. It is draining, difficult, humbling, stressful, and discouraging. We have been so blessed and encouraged by the outpouring of help from our family and friends, and thank God for how far he has brought us! But it is still daunting at times. We whole heartedly believe God brought us down this road and will provide what we need when we need it, but it is so hard to know what steps to take and if we are doing the right thing. For the past couple of months we took a break from "fundraising" and just prayed and added to the fund little by little as we could afford to.
But I have been feeling so incredibly stagnant in this waiting process lately, and felt God nudging me to get up and "do something" with the time we have left. We have been praying about what our last fundraiser should be and asking God to give us peace about it.
I will be announcing it in the next week or two, but I will tell you this won't just be a fundraiser! It will also create a special keepsake for our future child, and it will give every single person, near and far, who has prayed for us and donated financially and encouraged us along this path, the chance to give their own special message to our little one! I am really excited about it!
Thank you for continuing to pray with us. We would appreciate so much your prayers for our family as we continue to wait, prayers for the birth mama of this baby as she is facing some incredibly difficult decisions, and prayers for our baby, that God will lead us to him or her in His perfect way and timing.