Friday, October 28, 2011

Hurry Up and Wait

Today was a noteable day for us in the adoption process...we turned in our homestudy packet!!! When we were handed the packet two weeks ago, we were told typically it takes couples around six weeks to turn everything back in. I had the goal of three. We did it in two! Whoo hoo! :)

We worked really hard on it and I felt like I was DOING something, but now we have turned it in and we will be in the waiting stage for awhile. Our adoption classes do not start until January, and those are seven weeks long. Between now and then, it would be super cool if we could get our homestudy done, so that's the goal! But it will take our case worker quite awhile to go through our packet and schedule all of our meetings.

So, because there is nothing else we can possibly be doing right now, we pray! We pray and we fund raise and we pray some more. I am planning to read a few books on adoption in the meantime as well, because I love to read and because this is all very new to me and I would like to be as prepared as I can.

On the fundraising side of things, we are just under two weeks away from the end of our Adoption Change Drive! We have had two people turn in their coins, and WOW I was blown away!!! I am going to keep the funds raised mum until we get a grand total because it is so exciting and I want to put a big ol' entry in the fundraising thermometer after November 10th!!! Josh and the kids and I have been having a lot of fun counting up all the change, the kids are very good little coin sorters and together we knock it out pretty fast!

Today we were totally blessed by a few donations which has brought us well up over $600! J* and E* have been "Auctioning" off their artwork to family and friends and are absolutely swelled with pride over their contribution to the cause! J* and E* already donated their entire piggy banks to the "Doption Fund" as J* calls it, and the other day J* told me he wanted to donate all of his birthday money as well. I told J* that I was so proud of him for giving his whole piggy bank, and I wanted him to spend his birthday money on something he really wanted! He said, "Mommy, I weally want a brothoo or sistoo!" Today I told him I wished he would keep his birthday money and spend it on something really fun, and E* said, "Mom, what's more important, a toy, or adopting a baby who has no one to love it? DUH a baby!!!" ;)

I am so proud of them, and have learned a few lessons from their attitude. A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that her daughter gave all of her money to put in the baby bottle for our fundraiser. We both agreed that it was the sweetest thing ever. I was thinking about it later and thought, "Well, it's easy to give everything you have when you have someone taking care of your every need." I immediately realized how ridiculous that was...don't I have Someone taking care of MY every need? I could almost hear God say, "Um, HELLO??? What am I chopped liver?"

I had this convicting revelation. I thought it was so cute that these little ones were giving all they had. They just wanted to help! They saw a need and they knew they could do something about it! They didn't worry about what they would do after they gave it, because they are little and they have parents providing for their every need. Why would they worry? They'll get more money, and right now, it seems this "baby" needs it more than they do!

Wow. Are we any different? Don't we have a Provider who has promised us our daily bread? Who has promised to take care of our physical needs? How often do we give without worry? Without angst? Without second guessing and hesitation? Or how often do we say, "Well, I just can't afford that right now. I need to take care of myself."

I don't know about you, but I worry like it's going out of style. I cannot IMAGINE giving all the money I had to someone in need and just having faith that God will provide for me. How awesome are kids? What a perfect picture of unconditional faith. And they are putting their faith in humans! They have no doubt that their mom and dad will take care of them. We have GOD taking care of us, and we can't even trust Him to provide our daily needs? That seems a little off.

I am so challenged by my little children to have more faith in the One who created me. The One who loves me more than I can even imagine, more than I love my own children! How would we feel as parents if our children refused to part with their coins because they weren't sure they would have enough to buy their next meal or have shoes for school? I know my children would never worry about such things because they have never had to worry about such things. But have I? Has God ever not provided for my most basic needs? Honestly, I am fortunate to say no. So where does this constant worry come from? When did I stop trusting the One who has consistently taken care of me my entire life? How does it make Him feel when I worry and fuss and stress over things that I have no control over, but He does?

I have really given this entire adoption process over to the Lord. I have control over certain things, but I simply do not have control over the majority of this process. I cannot control when it will happen, how it will happen, how it will be paid for, or who my child will be. I can either worry over these things I can't control, or I can trust that God will take care of the details, like He always has.

I'm not saying that God always takes care of things in the way that I would have wanted, but do I really want to be in control of everything in my life given my tendency to completely make a mess of things as we humans so often do? I don't think so. I'd much rather hand this situation over to God, and tell Him, I trust you!!!

I am so blessed by you guys and your willingness to participate in helping us in this process, whether it be through prayer, financial support, or encouraging words. Thank you so much for reading and keeping up to date on what's happening! We will be in a stage of waiting for awhile now, but it will not be idle waiting. We will be praying, working hard, learning, and using this time to draw closer to the Lord.

If you are praying, pray for an awesome Change Drive turn out! It is already awesome and we are in the very early stages, so that is a huge praise! Pray for our birth mom. Pray, pray, pray for her. Pray for our family, our little family of four and our extended family, that God will grant us the grace to love whatever baby is placed in our home unconditionally and wrecklessly. That our family will trust the Lord completely to care for us and that His hand in all of this will be evident.

Thanks guys!

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